Behavior Expectations

I'm writing down a thought about student behaviors in the classroom. While it may seem a little bit pessimistic to some optimists out there, I think that students are guaranteed to misbehave. Anyone who walks into a classroom expecting the students to be fully capable of good behavior is unaware of reality. The problem is, when teachers expect perfect behavior and students begin to misbehave, it affects the emotional stability (and sanity) of the teacher. "What could have gone wrong?" "What did I do to allow or create such behavior?" It really drains you. I know because I used to have those high expectations for all of my students. It really upset me when a student would misbehave and then not even care about it. After years of teaching, I realized that this emotional rollercoaster was avoidable, and that my "high" expectations were actually "unacheivably high" expectations. When I come to the conclusion that students misbehaving was a regular thing, it wasn't so draining anymore.

The second thing is this: students are children/adolescents, and they are going to act that way. There is such a thing as requiring too much of them. There is such a thing as being a behavior-Nazi. So Bobby is whispering to Joey and they're giggling about something. Is it really necessary to break it up? Are you going to address every single misbehavior? Not a chance, not in the long run. There are some things that my students do that irritate me, but that doesn't give me the right to require them to stop. In my opinion, the students are allowed to have a little fun now and then. I don't necessarily have to approve of it, but as long as it's not going to hurt somebody, sometimes it's okay to let it happen. It is hard letting go of control. I want every student to be quiet and pay attention every time I speak. I want them to say please and thank you. I want them to say nice things to each other all the time. But the truth of the matter is, sometimes I catch myself holding my students to higher standards than I even hold myself. Pay attention for a whole hour? I have trouble doing that in church. Raise my hand every time to interrupt? Sometimes I just need to interrupt someone else's conversation. This year, I'm letting go of some control and realizing that kids don't always behave like they should. I didn't, and somehow I survived (and even turned into a teacher!).